Our beliefs about ourselves and the world can have a lot of influence over our actions. Some beliefs may be helpful and drive us to accomplish much, while others might get in the way of what we need. Contrast the belief that your efforts have no value with the belief that you fundamentally have something to offer, and it becomes apparent that one of these is likely to be experienced as paralysing, while the other might be experienced as highly motivating.
Beliefs are sometimes conscious to us and actively reflected on. Some people come to therapy specifically because they have identified a destructive belief that they are struggling to let go of. If someone comes to therapy to work on their self esteem, the implication is that they are saddled with destructive beliefs about their own worth that they would like to change.
Sometimes conscious beliefs are self defeating but firmly held on to as they serve an important function. Perhaps someone believes that all men are dangerous in some way. This belief may have come about from a traumatic relationship with a man. In this case, the belief may feel incredibly important in protecting them from any further risk of harm, but closes them off completely to relationships with men.
At other times, our beliefs are unconscious. They are convictions about ourselves or the world that influence us without us being aware of them.
In the case of unconscious beliefs, significant realisations and shifts in perspective can happen when these unknown beliefs become apparent in therapy. Exploring the origins and emotional significance of beliefs that have unconsciously influenced us gives us more power to choose how we view experiences in the future.
In some instances, beliefs are not so much discussed in therapy as they are demonstrated. Consider the example above of someone who is afraid of men. They may experience a great deal of anxiety in the presence of a male therapist and struggle to trust him. What may be necessary for the belief to change is to have repeated exposure to a relationship that disconfirms the beliefs. In this case it is not just the discussion of the belief in men as dangerous that is the main catalyst of change. What is more impactful may be how the therapist repeatedly responds to the person’s fear within the therapy relationship. Does the therapist tend to behave in ways that will help the person have a different understanding of men? In this case, the person may experience the therapy relationship as something of an experiment, an opportunity to test their beliefs in real time.
Beliefs often take time and effort to shift, as they originate from highly personal and meaningful experiences. They are guiding principles for life. A single incident has the potential to change someone’s internal world, or a person’s beliefs are molded over a long period of time, such as during childhood. Destructive beliefs were usually highly useful at some stage, but have either outlived their usefulness, or have become fixed and constricting, making it difficult for us to see alternative perspectives to problems in front of us. When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.
Comments